The Big Mad Morning Show

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Masturbator Tells Cops He's Cptn. Kirk

James Bundrick

Officers in Clearwater Florida were called to a bus stop recently for reports of lewd behavior. When officers showed up, they found a man sitting on a bench, touching himself. When they asked the man what he was doing, he said "I'm scratching myself". Officers say it was obvious he was masturbating. As they were arresting him for disorderly conduct, they asked the man what his name was. That's when he told them he was James Tiberius Kirk. His real name is James Bundrick, he spent three years in a Georgian prison for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and delivering a fake bomb threat. Read The Full Story Here


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