Earlier this month. police in Port St. Lucie were called to the house of 39 year old Allyson Swan for a domestic disturbance involving a plate of cheesy nachos. According to reports, Allyson got into an argument with her wife about her weight and eating late while Allyson was fixin' herself a plate of late night nachos. During the argument, Allyson grabbed a handful of nachos and shoved them down her pants. After the victim went to change her clothes, Allyson pulled the woman to the ground by her hair and shoved her fingers down her throat before smashing her head into the floor multiple times. When cops got there, Allyson said her wife was in a drunken rage but cops saw the pants with nacho cheese on them and a hole in the wall that was a result of the confrontation. They took her in for battery causing bodily harm.