Some people just can't wit to get home to rub one out. According to reports, police responded to a 911 call at at Louisiana Lowes because there was a naked man inside one of the display sheds for sale. After searching several sheds, an officer found 66 year old James Kalliavas lying on his back with his pants around his ankles and an open jar of Vaseline by his side, in the middle of "punching the clown". James told them he was masturbating while watching YouTube. He was taken in for obscenity charges.