Naked Man Poops On Neighbor's Table

When nature calls you must answer...but do you have to answer on your neighbor's table? According to 64 year old Kenneth Carlyle the answer is yes. Last week Kenny here decided it would be a good idea to walk up his neighbor's driveway full on naked and proceed to poop on their glass top table that was on their porch. He was seen from multiple angles on their security cameras crapping on the table in broad daylight. They called the cops who spoke to a very naked...very uncooperative Kenny through the door of his RV. They arrested him on criminal mischief and he could've been out by now if he wasn't already in trouble for DUI and discharging "multiple weapons" into a lake near his home back in December when cops found him sitting in his car firing off rounds into the water.