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A UK man is at his “wit’s end” trying to deal with a mysterious visitor to his home. For three weeks, the unnamed man has been awakened in the middle of the night by someone asking for porridge through the mail slot in his door. Sometimes, its “porridge time for papa bear.” Other times, its “eat it before it gets cold, poppa.” Then, there’s “it’s my special porridge.” The man adds that at no time has porridge ever been left outside for anyone or anything. Now, he’s just wondering what the heck he can do to stop the porridge-hungry disturbances.